1st Period
With the Gamblers’ “Sugar” Ray Nolan in the box for tripping, we got a rare UVHL lowlight and highlight in the same play. Mustangs goalie Colin “C Money” Farr collected an iced puck in the far corner, looked up ice, ignored a wide-open winger at the far blue line, and threw an absolute pizza right up the middle to nobody.
The delivery was immediately “accepted” by Billy “Riverman” Rivellini at the blue line. Farr, shocked that his own pass had been intercepted (a concept), didn’t exactly sprint back to the crease as Rivellini dusted it off and fired at the empty net. Farr then had to full-send a Superman dive across the goalmouth to bail himself out. It was both terrible and impressive—like watching someone rear-end their own car and still parallel park perfectly.
6:54 – Gamblers 1, Mustangs 0: Matty “The Milkman” Marrazzo ripped a shot that kicked a rebound into the slot. Mustangs defenseman Mike Cimis grabbed it and decided, in a moment of pure confidence, to stickhandle around Will Meyer. Meyer poked it loose, it landed on Rivellini’s stick, and Rivellini made one move around Farr before sliding it in along the ice.
The next two minutes were a masterclass in Mustangs hockey: a live demonstration of how quickly a game can go from “okay” to “please don’t make me watch film.”
6:12 – Gamblers 2, Mustangs 0: A gorgeous neutral-zone regroup ended with Sean Collins entering the zone, throwing two cutbacks at the blue line on Trevor “T-Bone” White, and finding Meyer cutting to the net. Meyer tucked it five-holio for 2–0.
5:07 – Gamblers 3, Mustangs 0: Rookie Mason Ballard won a race on the backcheck, used the net for time and space, and sprung Rivellini in transition. Rivellini fed Ryan “Thing 2” LaCroix, whose first shot got blocked and came right back to him. Second shot: low. Screen: Ballard. Result: five-hole. Farr looked disgusted—specifically with the concept of friendship.
3:07 – Gamblers 3, Mustangs 1: The Mustangs finally broke through when James Baker picked a puck off Luke Deary and hit Chase Erdahl coming out of the zone. Give-and-go into the Gamblers’ end, Erdahl’s point shot popped a rebound, and rookie Brendan Brigham cleaned up the trash like it was curbside pickup.
End of 1st: Gamblers 3, Mustangs 1 | Shots: Gamblers 17, Mustangs 7
2nd Period
6:55 – Gamblers 4, Mustangs 1: Ballard moved it to Collins at the near point. Collins walked a couple steps and feathered a backdoor pass to Topo “Thing 1” LaCroix for the tap-in. (If you’re a Mustang defender reading this: yes, “backdoor” means you should probably cover the guy standing there.)
2:50 – Gamblers 5, Mustangs 1: Topo blocked a shot at the far point, and Ryan dove to poke the loose puck forward—springing Topo on a breakaway. Topo came down the far boards, threw approximately 738 moves, crossed the slot, and tucked it far side. Farr’s reaction was the same look you make when your phone autocorrects “nice save” to “nice divorce.”
0:15 – Gamblers 6, Mustangs 1: On the Mustangs’ penalty kill, we witnessed the worst defensive sequence since someone invented the phrase “we don’t backcheck.” One defenseman was basically living in the corner, the other went forward like he had a tee time, and the inside winger covered the concept of nothing.
Will Meyer won the draw and suddenly had a 2-on-0 in the slot with Marrazzo. Quick pass, open net, goal. It was so brutal that if Farr ever snapped and committed a crime, a hockey fan on the jury would call it “time served” for three seasons of Mustangs goaltending.
End of 2nd: Gamblers 6, Mustangs 1 | Shots: Gamblers 32, Mustangs 11
3rd Period
14:11 – Gamblers 7, Mustangs 1: First minute of the third and the Mustangs immediately returned to their natural habitat: overcommitting in the neutral zone. Collins’ cross-ice pass bounced off a defender and landed on Ballard’s stick. Ballard toe-dragged a defender and slipped a filthy backhand drop pass to Ryan LaCroix for a one-time snapper—five-holio again. Farr was officially checked out, mentally reviewing every life choice from “sign up for goalie” onward.
9:51 – Gamblers 8, Mustangs 1: A turnover at the far point led to a little pop-up in the neutral zone that Cimis couldn’t handle (no comment on childhood catch games). Topo LaCroix pounced, hit Ballard in the slot, and Ballard went five-hole again. The Gamblers were now basically running a public clinic titled: “Five-Hole: It’s Not Just a Myth.”
8:58 – Gamblers 9, Mustangs 1: Topo knocked down a clearing attempt, Collins found Ryan in the corner, and Ryan tried a flip pass far post to Topo. Instead, it found the tiny gap between Farr’s right pad and the post. Bad goal? Sure. But Farr was beyond caring. He was already thinking: “Forget my GAA. I’m more focused on what my blood alcohol level will be postgame.”
The Gamblers kept pushing like it was Game 7 and not “Wednesday Night Men’s League With People Who Have Jobs.” It was peak Gamblers: talented, relentless, and just disrespectful enough to make you text your group chat: “Are we still doing this?”
1:47 – Gamblers 10, Mustangs 1: The puck movement turned surgical. Aaron Damren fed Ryan LaCroix down low, Ryan hit Collins in the high slot, and Collins had time to pick a corner and snipe top glove. Farr made a half-hearted slide like a man trying to close a laptop that already blue-screened.
Final: Gamblers 10, Mustangs 1 | Shots: Gamblers 45, Mustangs 18
