First Period: “Everything’s Fine.”

Credit where it’s due—the Mustangs kept it tight for twenty minutes. It was only 1–0 after one: a greasy rebound jammed home by Billy “Rivs & Rebounds” Rivellini (from Matt “The Milkman” Marrazzo and Will “The Thrill” Meyer) on the first shift of the night. Colin "Psych Ward" Farr stood tall and Tucker “Big Sexy” Garrity-Hanchett turned aside the few looks he saw.

“At 1–0 after one, we felt totally in control,” said Absolutely No One on the Mustangs.

Second Period: The Floodgates Detonate

The opening minute of the second set the vibe: turnover at the blue line, two passes, empty net. Marrazzo to Rivellini to Marrazzo again — 2–0 Gamblers. From there, the Gamblers did that thing they do better than anyone: smell a mistake and instantly turn it into offense. Luke “The Nuke” Deary walked in off a neutral-zone pick and zipped one low glove for 3–0, and then the track meet started.

In a dizzying three-minute span it went 4–0 (Woods rebound), 5–0 (LaCroix-to-LaCroix-to-Meyer tic-tac-oh-no), 6–0 (Webster’s one-timer off a pretty rush from Meyer), 7–0 (Meyer redirect), before James “Breadman” Baker finally ended the shutout to make it 7–1 and help everyone remember this was, technically, a hockey game.

“We hold a bi-weekly Zoom on how not to protect the slot,” a totally real anonymous Mustang allegedly said. “Tonight we just applied the curriculum.”

Third Period: Style Points & Existential Questions

Mike “The Bike” Cimis pulled a backhand 9-iron out of his bag to make it 7–2 early, but that only annoyed the Gamblers. Ryan “Thing 2” LaCroix cashed on a scramble (controversial crease contact? maybe…), Max “Stickhandling Lumberjack” Woods undressed a defender for 9–2, Luke Webster threaded a seeing-eye laser for 10–2, and Marrazzo finished a lazy 2-on-1 for the 11–2 stamp.

Through it all, Farr battled—frustrated, exhausted, and facing wave after wave of clean looks. He looked more shell-shocked than shaky, and the Mustangs would do well to buy their netminder some pizza and a weekend spa voucher. Across the rink, Garrity-Hanchett calmly vacuumed up 26 shots (mostly from low danger) and went home with a stat line as tidy as his crease.

“I lost 50 pounds this offseason,” said Tucker “Big Sexy”. “Thankfully, Quechee Pizza Chef gave me a $25 gift card for last week’s Player of the Week, so I immediately got it all back. Craft beer, great food, and mini-golf? Yes, chef.”

The Line That Lit the Barn on Fire

Will “The Thrill” Meyer, Max “The Lumberjack” Woods, and Billy “Rivs & Rebounds” Rivellini combined for 5 goals and 16 points. That’s not a line; that’s a crime spree.

• Meyer: magician in transition, two goals, telepathy engaged.
• Woods: dangled through traffic like it was a cones drill, highlight-reel tally.
• Rivellini: grease-area PhD, opened and later stirred the pot all night.

Goal Notes (Selected)

1. 1–0 GMB (1st, 14:41) — Rivellini from Marrazzo & Meyer, rebound party.
2. 2–0 GMB (2nd, 14:38) — Marrazzo finishes the pretty east-west from Rivs.
3. 3–0 GMB (2nd, 05:37) — Deary breakaway wrister, low glove.
4. 4–0 GMB (2nd, 03:27) — Woods cleans up the second rebound while four Mustangs admire the view.
5. 5–0 GMB (2nd, 03:03) — LaCroix > LaCroix > Meyer, tap-in clinic.
6. 6–0 GMB (2nd, 02:43) — Webster one-timer off a spicy Meyer drop.
7. 7–0 GMB (2nd, 02:23) — Meyer deflects Deary’s shot through traffic.
8. 7–1 MTG (2nd, 01:44) — Baker from Chase Engdahl, strong power move and finish.
9. 7–2 MTG (3rd, 14:28) — Cimis chips a fluttering puck over the glove.
10. 8–2 GMB (3rd, 09:43) — Ryan LaCroix after net-front chaos (discussion ensued).
11. 9–2 GMB (3rd, 08:51) — Woods forehand-backhand roof job.
12. 10–2 GMB (3rd, 07:34) — Webster sight-line snipe off a clean faceoff win.
13. 11–2 GMB (3rd, 06:20) — Marrazzo walks in off a 2-on-1 from Rivs, casual blocker-side tuck.

Big first-period stops: Garrity-Hanchett a blocker on Baker; later answered by a Farr “statue of liberty” snatch on Rivellini.

Three Stars

1. Will “The Thrill” Meyer — Engine of chaos, multi-point mischief.
2. Max “The Lumberjack” Woods — Dangles, drive, dagger.
3. Billy “Rivs & Rebounds” Rivellini — Bookended the onslaught.

Honorable mention: Tucker “Big Sexy” Garrity-Hanchett — 26 saves, calm as a pond in January.

Final Thoughts (and Free Advice)

The Mustangs didn’t just “have an off night”—they filmed a TED Talk titled “The Middle of the Ice: Why Bother?” If there’s a silver lining, it’s that offense wasn’t the problem; decision-making without the puck was. A couple of backchecks, fewer east-west passes at the blue line, and maybe a team field trip to the House of Slot Protection, and this looks very different. Farr deserves that effort.

Meanwhile, the Gamblers move to 1–1–0 and look very much like themselves again: ruthless on turnovers, lethal off the rush, and annoyingly joyful about it.