UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

UVHL GAME RECAP | OCTOBER 28, 2026 | WENDELL A. BARWOOD ARENA

The Mustangs Have Discovered the Bench. Alert the Media.

For years, showing up to a Mustangs game was a little like watching a survival documentary. Seven skaters, a goalie, and the unmistakable look of men who had made a terrible scheduling decision. But new manager Ethan “Scribbles” Scribner appears to have committed a revolutionary act: recruiting enough people to play hockey. Thirteen dressed, eight on the bench, including former Wisconsin Badger Katie Kotlowski and former St. Lawrence Saint Logan Ritchie. An actual roster. An actual line change. Somebody notify the Smithsonian.

The Lumberjacks arrived with their usual ten, a group that apparently believes depth is a character flaw. The Jacks had yet to win, the Mustangs were looking to escape an 0–2 hole, and both teams had compelling reasons to be optimistic before the puck dropped. Hockey, as usual, immediately began punishing that optimism.

First Period: The Goal That Required a Judicial Review

The Mustangs came out like a team with something to prove, generating four quality chances in the opening five minutes. Unfortunately for them, Luke “The Duke” McCormick had apparently decided to be employed as a goaltender tonight. He denied Kotlowski after she rescued an awful pass from Mike “The Trike” Cimis and snapped one five-hole, then somehow got across on a Brendan Brigham-to-Cimis backdoor chance with the urgency of a man who just heard the buffet was closing.

At the other end, Zach “Night And” Dayno found Nate “DeRoofa” DeLuca in the slot, but the Lumberjacks' scoring machine was still wearing a thick coat of summer rust.

7:50 — Lumberjacks 1, Mustangs 0. Jay “The Zamboni” Zanleoni stole a puck behind the net from Kotlowski and fed Jordy “McNasty” McGee at the back door. Colin “C-Money” Farr appeared to make the stop. Referee Will “Wobble” Meyer prepared for a faceoff. Then head referee Billy “The Thrill” Clark arrived from the blue line like the Supreme Court overturning a parking ticket and ruled it a goal. The replay department consisted of two officials, conflicting opinions, and the ancient beer-league tradition of moving on before someone gets too angry.

5:17 — Lumberjacks 2, Mustangs 0. Neil “The Real Deal” MacKenzie chipped a turnover to DeLuca, who turned and ripped an absolute missile over Farr's glove-side shoulder. No controversy here. Just a shot that should have come with a warning label.

Scribner nearly answered after Ritchie found him at the back post, but McCormick slammed the door again. Somehow the Mustangs had ten shots, several excellent chances, and absolutely nothing to show for it. After one: Lumberjacks 2, Mustangs 0. Shots: 11–10.

Second Period: Zanleoni Discovers That Tripping Is Still Illegal

Farr opened the middle frame with a terrific pad stop on DeLuca, and rookie Patrick Daley immediately counterpunched by splitting the Lumberjack defense before McCormick answered with a kick save of his own. It was shaping up as an honest-to-God goaltending duel, which is unusual when both teams employ defenders who occasionally mistake passing lanes for scenic overlooks.

12:56 — Lumberjacks 3, Mustangs 0. MacKenzie moved the puck across the zone to Dayno, who found Carter Auch at the point. Auch drove a shot through traffic, Farr made the first save, and MacKenzie collected the rebound like a man finding twenty bucks in his winter coat. Three-nothing. Surely safe. Surely.

Then Kotlowski beat Zanleoni clean with a slick outside-inside move. Big Z responded with the sort of two-handed trip that suggests the offender has recently given up on subtlety. The referee, disappointingly for Zanleoni, had eyes.

10:56 — Lumberjacks 3, Mustangs 1 (PP). Lauren Williams started the breakout, Ritchie drove down the boards and centered toward Van Bailey. McCormick got a piece, but the puck landed on Dallas Lahache, who buried it glove side. The Mustangs had life, and the Lumberjacks had begun their favorite hobby: making things unnecessarily interesting.

Farr then delivered the save sequence of the night: a blast from Dillan “Fierce” Pierce, a rebound chance for Andrew “Nimble” Kimbell, and a diving glove robbery on Zanleoni. Later, he denied Kimbell on a breakaway five-hole attempt. Three saves, one sequence, and a pretty compelling case for hazard pay.

After two: Lumberjacks 3, Mustangs 1. Shots in the second: 10–10.

Third Period: A Three-Goal Lead Is Just a Suggestion

At 12:30, Williams carried the puck through the neutral zone and deep into the Lumberjack end, feeding Cimis for a net-front chance. McCormick stopped the first attempt, but Trevor White crashed the crease and buried the rebound. 3–2. The comeback was no longer hypothetical.

Then, at 10:56, Ritchie submitted his early application for Goal of the Year. Rookie defenseman Joe Mineau snatched a tipped shot out of the air and moved it to Will Mudge, who redirected the puck through his legs to Ritchie streaking into the zone. His first shot was blocked. Most normal people would have settled for retrieving the puck and making a sensible play. Ritchie instead curled inside, flipped the puck over DeLuca's stick, dragged to his backhand and finished across McCormick. 3–3. Filthy. Absolutely filthy. Somewhere, a St. Lawrence coach nodded approvingly, and three Lumberjacks started checking whether their ankles were still attached.

For a brief moment, the Mustangs had done it: erased a three-goal deficit and turned the entire evening into a referendum on Lumberjack emotional stability.

9:06 — Lumberjacks 4, Mustangs 3. Kimbell banked a gorgeous indirect pass to Zanleoni, who spun under pressure and found McGee driving the net. McGee redirected it over Farr's glove. The Mustangs had spent most of the night climbing a mountain, and the Lumberjacks promptly kicked them back down it.

4:13 — Lumberjacks 5, Mustangs 3. Off a defensive-zone faceoff, MacKenzie and Dayno helped spring a two-on-one. MacKenzie patiently drew the defender, then slid the puck to DeLuca, who waited for Farr to commit before finishing far side. That is called composure. It is also called deeply annoying if you are Colin Farr.

MacKenzie later took a tripping penalty on White, giving the Mustangs one final opening. But McCormick got a shoulder on James Baker's late slot chance, and the comeback ran out of oxygen.

0:58 — Lumberjacks 6, Mustangs 3 (EN). Pierce launched the puck high off the glass from the far corner, sending it roughly 190 feet into the abandoned net. A majestic empty-netter, and the kind of shot that makes you wonder why anyone bothers skating the puck through the neutral zone.

There were reportedly two fans in the stands and millions watching on LiveBarn. The latter figure has not survived even the most basic audit. Final: Lumberjacks 6, Mustangs 3. Shots: Mustangs 31, Lumberjacks 24.

The Aftermath: One Team Wins, Both Teams Need Therapy

The Lumberjacks are 1–0, but it took a full-scale third-period rescue mission to get there. DeLuca and McGee scored twice apiece, MacKenzie contributed a goal and an assist, and Zanleoni somehow finished with two helpers despite also auditioning for a disciplinary hearing. McCormick made 28 saves on 31 shots, many of them when the game was threatening to turn into a very public embarrassment.

The Mustangs are 0–2, but there is genuine reason for optimism. Ritchie supplied a goal and an assist, Williams recorded two helpers, and their roster looks like a team instead of a Craigslist emergency posting. Farr gave up five on 23 shots faced before the empty-netter, but made several saves that kept the comeback possible.

“We had them right where we wanted them at three-nothing,” said absolutely no sane Lumberjack, in a quote our editorial department has generously invented.

“I told the guys we need more bodies, not necessarily more feelings,” said fictional Ethan Scribner, who should be credited for solving the team's most basic logistical crisis.

Ultimately the Lumberjacks got the points, the Mustangs got a moral victory they would probably prefer to exchange for actual points, and the rest of the UVHL got a reminder that a three-goal lead in beer league is about as secure as a folding chair on pond ice.

Post-Game Standings: The Early-Season Circus

The Whalers have already piled up 15 goals in two games, while the Mustangs have surrendered 14. The Lumberjacks join the unbeaten club, albeit with the kind of defensive résumé that causes insomnia.

League Leaders: The Usual Suspects and Some New Troublemakers

Cavan Benjamin leads the skaters with 8 points, followed by Logan Caffrey and Ben Rouillard with 6 each. Dan Fenton, Blaine Gour and Mustangs newcomer Lauren Williams sit on 4 points. On defense, Williams leads with 4 points; Russ Teller, Ryan Graff and Lochlan Park are among the players on 2. Jered Condon leads the goalie wins column with 2, while McCormick joins him in the win column after this one.

And just like that, the Lumberjacks are undefeated, the Mustangs are winless, and it is far too early for either fan base to behave rationally. Naturally, both will try.

Editorial note: Locker-room quotes are satirical inventions. Player-name links currently lead to the UVHL statistics directory rather than unverified individual profile URLs.