UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

One Team Playing for Fun, One Team Playing for the Right to Go Home Early Next Week

Tonight’s late game is a perfect UVHL cocktail: one team is eliminated and spiritually unburdened, the other team is chasing the #1 seed and the sacred privilege of playing the early game next week — the only prize in hockey that comes with better sleep and less heartburn.

Tuck has officially been eliminated. Which means they are now at their most dangerous: relaxed, reckless, and emotionally free to try stuff they absolutely should not try.

The Gamblers, meanwhile, need a win to lock up the #1 seed. And yes, it matters — because the #1 seed means home-ice pride, favorable matchup vibes, and the right to play early next week like a bunch of responsible adults who definitely don’t eat nachos at 10:45 PM.

Series History: Not a Rivalry, a Long-Term Emotional Relationship

All-time series: Gamblers lead 43–36. That’s not domination. That’s the kind of record that comes with grudges, screenshots, and at least one guy who still says, “Yeah but remember 2023-01-24…” in every conversation.

Lately though? The momentum has shifted hard: 7–2 and 6–2 Gamblers wins in the last two meetings. That’s the Gamblers not just winning — that’s them writing the story in permanent marker.

The Gamblers: A Scoring Problem for Everyone Else

The Gamblers aren’t “good.” They’re annoyingly good. They’ve got points all over the place like someone spilled stats on the floor.

• Will Meyer — 23 points. Produces offense like he’s paid per goal.
• Billy “River Boat” Rivellini — 19 points. Equal parts skill and chaos.
• Sean “Copland” Collins — 19 points. Defenseman, but also apparently a forward.
• Ryan “Goose” LaCroix — 19 points. Plays like every shift is personal.
• Matty “The Milkman” Marrazzo — 16 points. Delivers nightly.
• Topo LaCroix — 13 points. Human chaos grenade.
• Luke Deary — 12 points. Still capable of a dagger at the worst time.

This is the part where Tuck says, “We just need to keep it close.” And then six minutes later they’re chasing the puck and the scoreboard says something cruel.

Goaltending: Calm vs. Chaos

For the Gamblers, it’s the usual: Tucker Garrity-Hanchett — 10–2–0, 2.18 GAA. TGH is the rare UVHL creature who looks emotionally stable. It’s unsettling.

For Tuck… it’s been Goalie Musical Chairs all season. The current plan is “please be heroic,” and the current guy is: Ben Carlson — 5.00 GAA.

That number doesn’t mean he’s bad. It means he’s been asked to stop Grade-A chances while his defense performs interpretive dance in front of him.

Tuck’s Only Weapon Tonight: Freedom

Tuck is eliminated, which means they are now playing for: pride, fun, chaos, and the right to ruin someone else’s night.

If Tuck has any prayer of turning this into a game, it runs through Maclean “Stolen Valor” Lalor (14 points). He’s the guy who can generate something out of nothing, and tonight he gets to do it without the weight of playoff math crushing his soul.

Keys to the Game (Because We Pretend This Is Serious)

• Tuck: Score first. Make the Gamblers feel something. Make them grip the sticks and remember what pressure tastes like.
• Gamblers: Don’t fall into “we’ll flip the switch later” mode. The only switch you’ll flip is the one that turns on the group chat roasting.
• Goalies: Whoever gets betrayed less wins. That’s the UVHL.

Totally Real Pre-Game Quotes

Meyer: “We just want that #1 seed.” (Translation: I would like to be home by 10:15 next week.)

Lalor: “We’re playing loose tonight.” (Translation: I might try a lacrosse move in beer league, and you can’t stop me.)

TGH: “Same routine.” (Translation: I will calmly ruin your hope and then drink water like a psychopath.)

Final Thought

This game has two possible storylines:

• The Gamblers handle business, lock the #1 seed, and Tuck skates off into the offseason with “we had fun” energy.
• Or… Tuck plays free, Carlson stands on his head, Lalor goes nuclear, and the Gamblers feel that rare emotion they hate most: stress.

Either way, the stakes are clear: Tuck is playing spoiler. The Gamblers are playing for the right to wake up at a reasonable hour next week.

Bully Season: Gamblers Clinch #1 Seed, Tuck Soft as 12-Ply

The Gamblers needed a win to lock up the #1 seed. Tuck needed… vibes. What followed was less “competitive hockey game” and more “public demonstration of force.”

Tuck came in eliminated and playing loose. The Gamblers came in playing for seeding, pride, and the right to go home early next week. One of those motivations clearly travels better.

1st Period — A Clinic in Cruelty

At 11:11, Luke “The Duke” Webster cleared a puck that kissed Maclean “Stolen Valor” Lalor’s skate in neutral ice and landed perfectly for Willy “Wobble” Meyer.

Meyer entered with speed, cut back in the high slot, and beat Ben Carlson low blocker. 1–0. And that was the last time this game felt remotely balanced.

Thirty-six seconds later, Ryan Bergeron stripped Max Plonsker in the slot, and the puck moved Damren ? Marrazzo ? Deary ? Marrazzo for a 2-on-1 backdoor tap-in. Matty “The Mailman” Marrazzo always delivers.

Then Meyer and Topo “Thing 1” LaCroix went to work in transition. Centering pass. Chaos in the crease. Goal credited to LaCroix. Meyer probably jammed it. Who cares? 3–0.

By 4:49, Deary hit Meyer who fed Marrazzo backdoor again. Tap in. By :07, a Tuck breakout turned into a center-ice pizza and Mason Ballard buried it low glove.

End of 1st: 5–0 Gamblers. Shots: 16–8. It felt worse.

2nd Period — Stepping on Throats

Carlson actually made two huge saves early in the second on Meyer and Goose “Thing 2” LaCroix, briefly delaying the inevitable.

Faceoff. Meyer wins it back. Topo to Aaron Damren. Damren walks the line. Fires. Meyer screening like he’s collecting rent. 6–0.

Damren toe-drags at the point, feeds Deary, Meyer cleans up. 7–0.

Ballard wins a faceoff in his own zone, Bergeron throws a stretch pass to Topo at the far blue line. Tuck defense? Sleeping. Topo chip shot over the glove. 8–0.

And then the exclamation mark. Ray Nolan rims it around, Goose tries to hit Topo up 8–0 because mercy is not in the Gambler dictionary. Puck deflects middle, Ballard grabs it out of mid-air, flips it over a defender’s stick, circus move, walks in alone and buries.

9–0. And yes, they kept pushing.

End of 2nd: 9–0 Gamblers. Shots: 16–5.

3rd Period — Pride Goal and More Punishment

On the power play, Cam Leslie fed Lalor behind his own goal line. Lalor lugged it 150 feet, cut into the slot, and snapped one high glove on Tucker Garrity-Hanchett.

9–1. A small act of rebellion.

It lasted about three minutes.

Ballard intercepted another turnover, faked shot, sent Carlson down, and went upstairs. 10–1.

Then Sean “Copland” Collins knocked down a breakout pass, Marrazzo found Luke Deary in the slot, spin-o-rama along the ice glove side. 11–1.

That’s not “running up the score.” That’s a statement.

Final Numbers

Final: Gamblers 11, Tuck 1
Total Shots: 43–19 Gamblers.

The Gamblers lock up the #1 seed. The Whalers are looking up. Tuck heads to the offseason with stories, bruises, and a very honest stat sheet.

3 Stars

1. ??? Will Meyer — Engine, assassin, screen machine.
2. ?? Mason Ballard — Circus goals, no mercy.
3. ? Matty Marrazzo — Delivery service all night.

One team playing for fun. One team playing for first. Only one of them looked serious.