UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Tuck @ Nordiques

ODDS:	Tuck By 2 Goal
OVER/UNDER:	8 Goals

The Tuck Turduckens lead the league right now with 4pts, granted the Nordiques & Gamblers have only played one game and Dead River and the Whalers are both winless. Irregardless, the defending champs have dominated a hapless Dead River two weeks in a row, outscoring them 13-1 in the process.

The Nordiques are not the same hapless team that Dead River is...we think, but this should be a pretty good measuring stick for both teams. Tuck was pretty impressive as they rolled 13 players and controlled most of their games. The Nordiques had a solid 6-3 win over a decent Whalers club in week 1, but sat out with a BYE in week 2.

The odds makers in Vegas have favored the offense and goaltending of Tuck over the Nordiques with Tuck winning by 2 goals...5-3. The big question is whether or not the Nords can muster 3 goals on Mike "Dine & Dash" Devine...or shall we say that the question is whether or not Devine will allow the Nordiques to score 3 goals on him.

The Nords have their own pretty good pipe-protecter in Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner who was the difference maker against the Whalers in week 1.

I can see a 5-3 game here, but we may be treated to a defensive / goaltending gem in the form of a 3-2 end result. Only time will tell.

Tuck Dominates Nordiques Nine Nothing

Mike "Divine" Devine recorded his second shutout of the young season in a dominating fashion as he put aside 35 shots to secure a 3-0-0 record. Tuck absolutely steam-rolled the Nordiques, outshooting them 43-35 on the night, but most of the Nord's shots came from the perimeter and everything that made it to the net was either gobbled up by Devine like a donut at a fat kids camp or immediately cleared out by his team mates leaving very few second chances.

Divine came up huge early on as he had to traverse the crease on a Jordy "McBreakaway" McGee breakaway. McGee tore down the far boards and cut across the crease, left to right, trying to bury the puck near side but Devine was too quick, and that was about as good as it got for the Nordiques.

Divine wasn't the only standout as Brandon "The Harry One" Harrington put up a trio of goals and an assist and rookie Jed "McNasty" McDonald put up a natural hat trick in the first period which was the proverbial stake through the heart of the Nordiques sending them into a spiral of self-hatred and self-pity.

A source close to the Nordiques quoted their goaltender, Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner saying in the locker room that he didn't need warmups. Turner then proceeded to miss the warmups and delay the start of the game. He stepped on the ice and let in 3 of the first 4 shots he faced. Warmups? Warmups? He don't need no stinkin' warmups!!!!!

"I sucked tonight" was Turner's only quote to the media after the game, but truth be told, it was a solid team effort in that sucking.

Tuck walked all over the Nords, won almost every 50/50 battle, swarmed all three zones in layers and seemed to score at will. Two goals came on bad line changes that led to breakaways, the first goal of the night by Eric "Ratty" Rautiola which started in the neutral zone and saw Harrington force a turnover and feed Spencer "Mo" Vaughn who in turn made the pinching defensman, Kelly "The Mouth" Park, look silly as he chipped the puck to Rautiola along the far boards. The bad line change let Rautiola walk in all alone and squeek one through Turner. McDonald then proceeded to put on a show as he sniped Turner for 3 straight goals with 2 assists coming from Ratty.

END OF THE FIRST: Tuck 4, Nordiques FUCKING ZERO

The second period was barely better for the Nords as Tuck only put in three goals while throwing 20 shots on Turner who started to come out of his funk. Harrington beat Turner from the high slot in the first minute of play and Vaughn took a breakaway pass from Jordy "McTurnover" McGee and due to a bad line change walked in all alone. Vaughn put a sweet deke on Turner and sent the puck off both posts and in.

The highlight of the night was defenseman Mark "Devo" Devooght jumping up and taking a pass from Ratty in the neutral zone. Devooght entered the Nords zone 1 on 1 with one of the best defensemen in the league Ryan "McToeDragged" McGovern who swiped hard at Devooght only to see the big man toe-drag him and walk in all alone on Turner from the hashmarks. Devooght threw the puck blocker side and celebrated. Rumor has it that Devooght was puking in a trashcan before the game in the lobby of the rink. That boot & rally is new UVHL lore.

END OF THE SECOND: Tuck 7, Nordiques suck

Tuck scored two more goals in the 3rd to make it an even 9 on the night. Brandon "Better Late Than Never" Harrington scored both of those goals, the first came on the powerplay with Kelly Park in the box for a questionable roughing call that saw Josh Gartner down on the ground for a couple of minutes after the two crashed head first into the boards. Gartner left the game under his own volition but would have a hell of a sore neck and headache the next day.

Harrington capitalized just under a minute in on a nice individual effort. He completed his hat trick with 4:11 left on a point shot / pass from Mike Nowak that was heading 6 feet wide of the net, but Harrington torqued his body around and tipped the puck perfectly past a bewildered Turner to put the game out of reach.

To tell you the truth, I thought the Nordiques had a fighting chance at a comeback until Harrington broke their back with that 9th goal.

END OF REGULATION: Tuck 9, Nordiques need to burn their brand new jerseys

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
TCK	11:49	Goal	Rautiola, Eric(3)	Assist(s): Vaughn, Spencer(1) Harrington, Brandon (4)
TCK	08:11	Penalty	Mellen, Peter(1)	2 minutes for Body Checking
TCK	07:11	Goal	McDonald, Jed(3)	Assist(s): Rautiola, Eric(2) Mellen, Peter(2)
TCK	04:17	Goal	McDonald, Jed(4)	Assist(s): Curran, John(1)
NDQ	03:13	Penalty	Racicot, Brian(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
TCK	00:19	Goal	McDonald, Jed(5)	Assist(s): Rautiola, Eric(3)
2nd PERIOD
TCK	14:22	Goal	Harrington, Brandon (1)	Assist(s): none
TCK	10:36	Goal	Vaughn, Spencer(1)	Assist(s): none
TCK	04:27	Goal	Devooght, Mark(1)	Assist(s): Rautiola, Eric(4)
NDQ	04:27	Penalty	McDermott, Shawn(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
3rd PERIOD
NDQ	11:59	Penalty	Park, Kelly(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
TCK	10:46	Goal	(PP)Harrington, Brandon (2)	Assist(s): none
TCK	04:11	Goal	Harrington, Brandon (3)	Assist(s): Nowak, Mike(3)
NDQ	00:24	Penalty	Marsh, Greg(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
TCK	00:24	Penalty	Vaughn, Spencer(1)	2 minutes for Roughing

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Game Comments:
rgrunds Stowe, VT Registered: Posts: 376	JT's Right Nov 7th, 2013 10:22 PM You don't need warmups. They're just a Jewish Trick.