UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Nords by 2 goals
OVER/UNDER:	7 goals

Some are whispering about a BIG upset in this one, with the Whalers Kenny "Le Mesh Wall" Lallier shutting out the Nordiques. Other rumors have it that Joey "The Mute" Hayes is going to actually break his life-long silence with a motivational speech to his team mates in the locker room. Honestly, I think Lallier has a better shot of shutting out the Nordiques than The Mute has of speaking.

Regardless, the Nordiques will be powered by sheer anger from losing their last 2 games. Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner will play out of his scull after his team mate Kelly "The Mouth" Park will heckle him before the game with comments like "Hey Fatty, do you think you can make at least one save tonight?" and "Hey Wickets, do you think you can close up that gaping hole between your legs tonight?" and "Hey retard, do you think you can go one period without shitting yourself and possibly throwing forearm shivers at the refs?"

Nordiques will win this one 5-2

Whalers SHOCK THE WORLD....ok, Just the LOWLY Nords....4-2.

Nords suck, can't score. Lallier is one SEXY TWO-PAD STACKING GOALIE. Hayes had a nasty breakaway game winning goal making Turner look like a Squirt B. McDermott is still fat. Marshy is still Canadian. Todd Nallette has the best hook in the U. Gary LaPerle is a diamond in the rough.....er, a Pearl in a half shell. Chuck Gaede is tall, so is Jimmy LeClair. Loomis is like a tazmanian devil out there. Dave Willis is slow, Park has a big mouth, Coates has no real teeth. Dakai is the missing link.

O'Neil takes bad penalties at BAD TIMES. Jordan McGee has a brother. Johnny McGee has a brother. Tao Smith is the worst captain in the world.

Whalers are good.....Nordiques....not so much.


The Nordiques have had some MAJOR scoring woes over the past couple of games which successfully carried over tonight against the HIGH FLYING WHALE TALE. The Whalers had an NHL caliber performance from their aging netminder, Kenny "The Fountain Of Youth" Lallier who turned away 38 of 40 shots to secure the big win. The first period held the most action as the Whalers took a 2-1 lead despite letting up the first goal. That goal came at 10:22 when Davey "Whatchoo Talkin' About" Willis threw a quick pass from the far faceoff circle to Andy "The Energy" Puchilak who redirected the pass past Lallier. It took almost 7 minutes later for the Whalers to get on the board when Kelly "Captain Turnover" Park turned the puck over behind his own net, being stripped by Jimmy "Chocolate" LeClair. LeClair calmly pulled the puck to the front of the net and past a SHOCKED Turner who had just been either speared or butt ended by that little shit Liam "The Disrespectful Little Ass-Clown" Oliver. Interestingly enough, the only 2 Nordique players that were in the zone at the time of the goal were the two defenseman and both were behind the goal line. Sean "Santa" Clausen made it 2-1 with just 21 seconds to play when he lit Turner up over the glove on a puck that seemed to defy gravity & change direction 8 times in the 40 feet it travelled, but that was just my position from the bench.

END OF THE FIRST: Whalers 2, Nordiques 1

The Nordiques tied the game up at 12:32 when Tao Smith beat Lallier, unassisted after he closed his eyes said 18 hail Mary's and fired the puck. The remainder of the period was more or less boring despite Puchilak picking up a pair of penalties, one for tripping and a second roughing call which was a Match with Joey "Rage" Hayes.

END OF THE SECOND: All Tied @ 2

The 3rd period was more of the same, back and forth, tons of shitty shots being thrown at both goalies. Lallier's abs must have been killing him from all of the slap shots right at his belly. It took almost 9 minutes for ANYTHING noteworthy to happen, when Joey "The Raging Mute" Hayes took snuck behind the Nordiques defenseman and took a PERFECT breakaway pass from Kevin Louzier who was playing his first game of the season. Hayes who easily outskated the slowest defensive tandem in the Northern Hemisphere in Park & McDermott, walked in all alone, threw 3 head fakes at Turner before faking inside quickly followed by ONE OF THE FASTEST OUTSIDE MOVES AND CUTBACKS TO HIS FOREHAND I HAVE EVER SEEN. Turner was down and out and sobbing in his own piss as he watched Hayes tuck the puck past his chunky and stubby little leg. That was a NASTY NASTY NASTY GOAL. The Nordiques actually picked it up and put plenty of pressure on the Whalers, forcing Lallier to make about 10 saves in the last 4 minutes including a 2 pad stack on Ian "The Grin" Coates that was INSANE. The Nordiques looked like they could pull it out, when Mikey O'Neil took the WORST and most untimely roughing penalty I have ever seen as he full out body checked a Whaler in the offensive zone putting his team on the PK with 51 seconds to play and down by a goal. The Nordiques pulled Turner from the net but their captain "Turnover" Tao Smith decided to make a move at the blue line instead of dumping it in, turning the puck over and giving Jimmy LeClair his second goal of the game in an empty net.

END OF REGULATION: Whalers 4, Nordiques 2

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	10:22	Goal	Puchalik, Andrew(4)	Assist(s): Willis, David(3)
WHL	03:40	Goal	LeClair, Jim(5)	Assist(s): none
WHL	00:21	Goal	Clauson, Sean(2)	Assist(s): none
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	12:40	Penalty	Puchalik, Andrew(5)	2 minutes for Tripping
NDQ	12:32	Goal	Smith, Tao(7)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	02:40	Penalty	Puchalik, Andrew(6)	2 minutes for Roughing
WHL	02:40	Penalty	Hayes, Joe(3)	2 minutes for Roughing
3rd PERIOD
WHL	06:20	Goal	Hayes, Joe(11)	Assist(s): Lozier, Kevin(1)
NDQ	00:51	Penalty	O'Neil, Michael(2)	2 minutes for Roughing
WHL	00:06	Goal	LeClair, Jim(6)	Assist(s): none

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Game Comments:
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	Lallier is my GOD! Feb 11th, 2009 07:12 AM I have built a shrine to the one and only Kenny Lallier, it contains a bronze sculpture of him two pad stacking, candles & an altar.
Oliver Washington D.C., VT Registered: Posts: 5	Nordiques Feb 12th, 2009 12:00 AM I've gotta say, The Nordiques have a decent team with an exception of that park guy. Enjoyed the game. Pce.
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Excellent game on Tues! Feb 12th, 2009 01:29 PM LeLallier and Turner each faced about 40 shots, both teams played hard and relatively clean, and it was a one goal game decided by "an NHL move", as JT put it, on a breakaway by Joey "Mr. Underrated" Hayes, the heart and soul of the Whalers. There was even a Kevin Louzier sighting! Congrats on the upset, fellas. Until next time....
habs101 , NH Registered: Posts: 16	Feb 12th, 2009 04:59 PM the score was 4-2......yes i realize one was an empty net