UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Brewers by 3 goals
OVER/UNDER:	9 goals

The Brewers are rolling now, picking up steam as they have outscored opponents 27-12 in their first 3 games. Nick "The Prickly Stick" Bayley has notched a league leading 16 points in 3 games , including 9 points last week, to wake up from his end of the season SLUMBER from the 2007-2008 campaign.

The Nordiques are coming off of a huge upset win over Potter where, they were again outshot, but played an excellent team game in the 3-2 win. The NorLeafs will need to focus on Bayley, and let the rest of the Brewers beat them, but with the EMERGENCE OF SUPERSTAR TALENTED CENTURIAN, Al "The Fonz" Sorrentino, that may be a difficult task.

Predicting the outcome of this game is a tough call. With Bartline in net, a blind one-legged man with one arm could score 20 goals, but the offensive prowess of the Brewers can easily combat the ineptitude in net. Unfortunately, seeing how good the Brewers have been, I'm calling this a 6-3 win for the Drunkards. BUT, if the Nords play their game, this could easily be a 5-4 win for the NorLeafs.

GO NORLEAFS!!!!

Brewers overcome early defecit to nip NorLeafs 5-2.

There was a bit of trash talking that preceded this game, with the Nordiques predicting an upset win while the Brew Crew was throwing very little respect the way of the 1-2-0 NorLeafs. Powered by the trash / potty mouth of "The MASSHOLE" Dan Charrette.....AKA "Big & Chunky" AKA "The Tubonator" and the sub-stellar goaltending of Petey "T1000" Bartline, the Brewers have been rolling through the mud season, while the other 3 teams just seem to be spinning their tires, stuck in 18 inches of the Upper Valley's finest muck. Speaking of muck, the unusually warm temperatures for this day had an awful effect on the ice surface, creating a horribly slow sheet and some thick lung choking air within the rink that took a toll on pretty much everyones lungs, especially the really tubby ones like McBuffaloWings and The Tubonator.

The Brewers entered the game outscoring their opponents 27-12 in their first 3 games behind Nick "The Stick" Bayley's league leading 16 points. The NorLeafs are coming off a huge upset win over the now 0-3 Potterians where they focused on cleaning up their defensive end and getting the DAMN puck out of the zone. So the NorLeafs were poised and confident that they could shut down the high powered Brewers squad, and they essentially did that by keeping them to the lowest offensive production of the season, but due to their complete lack of offensive prowess, came up a bit short in the end.

The Nordiques actually came out flying for the first time all year, outshooting the Brewers 12-11 in the first and jumping onto a 2-0 lead. The first 6 minutes of the first had little flow as both teams just seemed to move the puck and lose it before the NorLeafs Joey "The Mute" Hayes said absolutely NOTHING but did manage to take a Brian "Gatman" Gattie pass and put it past a bewlidered Petey "Booger" Bartline for the 1-0 lead with 8:33 to go in the first. Jason Loomis put the NorLeafs up 2-0 as he fought off a Charrette hook at the blue line, cut in on his new best friend Kevin "Cro Magnon" Calder and then made a nifty little move, that almost looked accidental, on "Booger" before throwing a backhander through the gaping crevice between Bartline's legs that is locally known as "The Bartline Gorge". The only other statistic in the first was that Garren Poirier "Some Suger On Me" took a penalty for interference at 8:08 of the first. This is definitely a statistical anomaly as Poirier is up for "Most Gentlemanly Player of the Year" award.

END OF THE FIRST: Brewers 0, NorLeafs 2
SAVES: Bartline(BRW) 12, Turner(NRL) 11

The NorLeafs, who were on cloud nine after playing one of their best periods of hockey all season were about to get the shock of their lives as the Brewers came out flying in the 2nd, determined to not let Kelly "Ankle Bender" Park's mouth run more than it already had in the first. "The Stick" Bayley brought the Brewers back within 1 off of a faceoff to the left of Turner. At the drop of the puck, Bayley chipped the puck through the legs of the captain "Talentless" Tao Smith, walked right around him and fired a QUICK snapper through Johnny "5-hole" Turner's wide hole. Bayley returned to the bench and began telling his linemates about the ONLY other time he actually scored a goal like that...."I remember it clearly, like it was 15 years ago.....I was a squirt, same end, same faceoff circle....different goalie......we were down by a goal, I chipped the puck just like that.....I did this, I did that, I was a hero that day my friends, a HERO!!!!"

The Brewer's Mike "Hackin" Hickey tied the game up just over 3 minutes later as he crossed the blue line and let a BLISTERING 22 mph slap shot go, intelligently using the defenseman as a screen, causing Turner to drop to his knees like Monica Lewinsky. The blisteringly slow shot hit Turner in the shoulder, bounced up in the air, did a 360 before falling back behind Turner and rolling in the net. Joey "Anger Management" Lyle put the Brewers on top for good with 8:02 remaining in the period off of a pass from Bayley & Calder.

END OF THE SECOND: Brewers 3, NorLeafs 2
SAVES: Bartline(BRW) 18, Turner(NRL) 19

The 3rd period started off pretty slow, as no one wanted to make a mistake in a tight 1 goal game. Calder took a 2 minute penalty for roughing up Jason "Crazy Legs" Loomis just over 2 minutes into the period, shortly followed by a NorLeaf tripping call on Eric "Guns" Gattie. With Gattie in the box, the Brewers moved the puck around the zone freely behind Bayley, Isaac & Sorrentino's expertise before Bayley cut from the far boards to the high slot and dished a beautiful pass to the lower slot where "The Fonz" was waiting. "The Fonz" fumbled the puck for a second before firing a quick wrister towards the upper corner, but the puck never actually left the ice and trickled through one of Turner's many holes on the night for the Brewers insurance goal. The remainder of the period could be summed up as "Cruise Control" for the Brewers as they kept a calm & cool demeanor and protected their head case of a goalie, despite being outshot 14-7. Joey Lyle added his 2nd goal of the night with an empty neter with 8 seconds to go. Post game, Lyle asked me if it was bad form to put away the open netter and not just throw it in the corner......."pad your stats kid, it's all you have to live for now!" was my only response.

END OF REGULATION: Brewers 5, NorLeafs 2
SAVES: Bartline(BRW) 32, Turner(NRL) 26.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	08:33	Goal	Hayes, Joe(1)	Assist(s): Gattie, Eric(1)
NDQ	02:37	Goal	Loomis, Jason(1)	Assist(s): Smith, Tao(1)
BRE	00:08	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(3)	2 minutes for Interference
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	13:28	Penalty	McDermott, Shawn(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
BRE	13:26	Goal	Bayley, Nick(5)	Assist(s): none
BRE	10:11	Goal	Hickey, Michael(1)	Assist(s): none
BRE	02:09	Goal	Lyle, Joe(2)	Assist(s): Bayley, Nick(13) Calder, Kevin(1)
BRE	00:43	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(4)	2 minutes for Tripping
3rd PERIOD
BRE	12:46	Penalty	Calder, Kevin(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
NDQ	12:28	Penalty	Gattie, Eric(4)	2 minutes for Tripping
BRE	10:48	Goal	Sorrentino, Alfonse(4)	Assist(s): Bayley, Nick(14)
NDQ	07:00	Penalty	Smith, Tao(2)	2 minutes for Tripping
NDQ	00:41	Penalty	Casavant, Sean(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
BRE	00:41	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(5)	2 minutes for Roughing
BRE	00:08	Goal	Lyle, Joe(3)	Assist(s): Bayley, Nick(15) Hickey, Michael(3)

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Game Comments:

hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517

Cool! Kelly is gonna trash you instead! Apr 3rd, 2008 07:00 PM Yah! Kelly isn't going to pick on me this time! He is giong to pick on some other people and give me a break, because I'm an overly sensitive Canadian! (and because I played great, except when I let Garren Poirier sneak that puck between my legs for a shot on Turner on my first shift...I had to cover for Park ALL NIGHT on D because he was my inept D partner on one and a half legs! Oh, snap...now Park is going to retort and hurt my feelings again). McDefense, OUT!