UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

December 17, 2025  |  9:25pm

The Mustangs entered Wednesday night desperately seeking redemption after being absolutely throttled 9–1 by the Gamblers the week prior — an embarrassment so severe that historians immediately requested game tape be sealed. Ownership reportedly threatened to dismantle the franchise, and captain / GM Will “Oh Fudge” Mudge allegedly promised brutal consequences if effort did not improve.

Mudge responded with action, acquiring Maclean “Stolen Valor” Lalor, who was “taking a break” from his Tuck duties, and Will “McJesus” McGee, home from college and immediately injected with top-line responsibility. Lalor stabilized the blue line instantly, while McGee added speed, skill, and just enough menace to keep everyone honest.

The Whalers were short-handed, missing “Big Game” James McCormick (shoulder), Nate “The Great” Robinson (ankle, mangina), and Jason “Yeehaw” Yehle, who simply chose not to attend.

1st Period

The Mustangs struck immediately. Off the opening faceoff, McGee stripped Ezra “Mohawk” Mock, pushed the puck back to his defense, then blew the zone through the middle. McGee dragged Cavan “Been Jammin” Benjamin behind the net and out of position before dishing to the point — Benjamin’s point — where Jack “Smitty” Smith fired a perfectly tip-able shot.

Ben “Flyby” Rouillard politely curled away from the shooting lane, allowing Mike “The Bike” Cimis to redirect the puck five-hole on Jered Condon. Brandon “Big C” Chiasson provided only emotional support in front. Thirty seconds in. Tone set.

Rouillard attempted immediate redemption, picking off a breakout pass and feeding Benjamin in the slot, but Colin “C-Money” Farr swallowed the shot without concern.

Kelly “Boots” Park took a roughing penalty late, stepping into Trevor “Tyler” White at the point. The Mustangs’ power play generated one shot — by the Whalers.

With under a minute remaining, Rouillard sprung Dan “The Fenom” Fenton on a breakaway, but Farr flashed the pad on Fenton’s forehand-to-backhand attempt to preserve the lead.

End of the 1st: Mustangs 1, Whalers 0
Shots: Mustangs 9, Whalers 6

2nd Period

Logan “Wolverine” Caffrey showcased some hands early, but Farr challenged aggressively and erased the angle.

At 8:44, the Mustangs doubled the lead after Lochlan Park attempted a move in the slot that Lalor promptly disassembled. The loose puck landed on Mudge’s stick, whose initial shot rebounded directly to Ethan “Scribbles” Scribner. Scribner hacked the puck back across the crease to Mudge for a tap-in. A father-son bonding moment no one asked for.

Farr followed with a Statue of Liberty glove save on Benjamin — an unnecessary flourish that conveyed absolute disrespect.

Lalor made it 3-0 at 6:08, stripping a Whaler defender at the top of the circle, poking the puck between his legs, and wiring a glove-side snipe where romance novels go to die. The responsible defender has paid Venmo to remain unnamed.

Farr capped the period with a gorgeous right-pad kick save on Fenton and survived a late Mustang power play that somehow resulted in the Whalers outshooting them 4-0. Benjamin, operating as a one-man penalty kill, dangled freely and forced Farr into multiple high-danger saves.

End of the 2nd: Mustangs 3, Whalers 0
Shots: Mustangs 20, Whalers 20

3rd Period

Desperate for offense, Whalers captain / coach Dan VeNard shuffled lines, moving himself and Russell “Bank” Teller to defense while promoting Park and Chiasson to forward. Shockingly, this did not produce goals.

The Whalers opened strong as Blaine Gour, Caffrey, and Fenton peppered Farr early. Farr responded by turning into Connor Hellebuyck for approximately sixty seconds. As much as this reporter hates to say it — credit where credit is due.

A McGee hooking call at 9:55 gave the Whalers a power play where they generated seven shots, ranging from dangerous to desperate. Farr remained unmoved.

Park took his second penalty at 7:03, followed shortly by a soft interference call on Scribner that created a brief 4-on-4. Lalor nearly buried another as Park exited the box, but Condon fought the puck off his shoulder.

Benjamin took a roughing penalty at 2:58 after trying to cut to the slot and instead cutting directly into Lalor’s chest. Two minutes, go sit, reflect.

Final: Mustangs 3, Whalers 0
Shots: Mustangs 26, Whalers 32

Farr earned the shutout. The Mustangs earned redemption. Ownership cancelled demolition plans — for now.