On a chilly December night at WABA, the Mustangs and Lumberjacks met in a battle of “please don’t let this tank our goal differential.” By the end of it, the Mustangs had stacked up a 6–3 win, Colin Farr had faced enough rubber to qualify as a recycling facility, and Jody O’Neill quietly walked out with a very loud 1 G, 2 A stat line while everyone else argued about who actually scored what.
First Period – “Helmet? Optional.”
Things started pretty tame until Jay “The Boni” Zanleoni decided that proper chin-strap usage is for lesser men. He freight-trained Tyler White, whose helmet exited his head like it was late for a flight, and White went down in a heap. The refs, naturally, called nothing—probably because they were still trying to spell “Zanleoni” on the scoresheet.
That chaos woke up the Mustangs. A low shot from Mike “The Bike” Cimis kicked to the corner, where O’Neill outworked everyone, grabbed it, and funneled it into the blender in front of the net. In the scrum, Will “The Thrill” Mudge hacked at it, O’Neill hacked at it, someone sneezed, and eventually the puck crossed the line. The official scorer gave the goal to O’Neill (because of course he did), with Mudge and Cimis collecting the helpers.
1–0 Mustangs. Confusion level: high. Happiness level: also high.
The Jacks answered quickly. Luke McCormick kicked out a rebound, Andrew Kimbell scooped it up in the corner and launched a gorgeous cross-ice feed to Jake “The Snake” Charles. Charles burned his defender wide, jammed his own rebound past Farr, and suddenly it was all square again.
End of 1st: 1–1 | Shots: Mustangs 11 – Lumberjacks 8
Second Period – “Loaner Legend & Muffin Mayhem”
Early in the second, Farr had to go full Exorcist to keep it tied. Nathan DeLuca roared down the wing, ripped a shot that popped straight up, and the rebound landed in the slot for “Sticky” Nicky Dayno to whack away at. Farr just laid there like a human brick wall and refused to move. The puck eventually drifted behind the goal line, where DeLuca picked it up, circled, and wired one off the crossbar. Technically not a shot on net, but emotionally very scary.
Then the Mustangs unleashed their rental weapon: Mac “The Legend” Lalor, on loan from Tuck like a borrowed power tool. A harmless point shot got fumbled and squirted backwards through literally everyone, all the way down into the Mustangs’ zone. O’Neill calmly picked it up and hit Lalor in stride. Lalor carved through two Lumberjacks with an inside-outside move, cut across the tops of the circles and snapped one glove side on McCormick.
2–1 Mustangs, and somewhere Tuck’s GM filed a tampering complaint.
Not to be outdone by his own rental, O’Neill went back to work. He bullied Carter Auch in the corner, came away with the puck, and slid it up top to Chase Engdahl. Engdahl responded with a majestic, slow-motion muffin that somehow weaved through eight bodies and beat McCormick blocker side.
3–1 Mustangs. Expected goals on that shot: 0.03. Vibes: 10/10.
McCormick decided he’d had enough of this and started making plays at the other end. After stopping an outside shot from Ethan “Scribbles” Scribner, he corralled the rebound and fired a breakout pass that turned into a clean 2-on-0 for Kimbell and DeLuca. Kimbell held it forever, slid it backdoor, and DeLuca finished like a guy who’s done this a few times.
3–2 Mustangs, McCormick’s second assist of the night. Goalie points are a disease and the Jacks are infected.
The Mustangs restored the cushion when Cimis fired from the high slot and the puck deflected perfectly to James “The Muffin Man” Baker walking down Main Street. Baker one-timed it up over the blocker for the 4–2 lead and casually skated by the bench like, “yeah, that’s my office.”
End of 2nd: Mustangs 4 – Lumberjacks 2 | Shots: Mustangs 24 – Jacks 19
Third Period – “Engdahl Steals Lunch Money, Baker Hits Turbo”
Early in the third, Engdahl decided neutral-zone structure was optional. He picked off a breakout pass, walked in alone, and ripped a snapper blocker side on McCormick to make it 5–2 Mustangs. It was the hockey equivalent of reading someone’s diary and then scoring on them with their own secrets.
The period settled into a back-and-forth grind until Baker finally did something truly outrageous. With a defensive zone faceoff to the right of Farr, he pushed the draw forward, blew past three stunned Lumberjacks, and took off up the ice like someone told him there was free pizza behind the far net. He cut across the slot and slipped a filthy backhand past McCormick.
6–2 Mustangs. Two goals, an assist, and at least four chirps logged.
The Jacks clawed one back late because pride is a thing. Evan Seely stripped a Mustang along the wall and moved it ahead to Kimbell, who found DeLuca cutting through the middle. DeLuca executed a slick forehand-backhand dipsy-doo and lifted it over Farr to make it 6–3 with under a minute to play.
Sadly for the Lumberjacks, the old saying held true: “The most dangerous lead in hockey is a three-goal lead with 44 seconds left”… said absolutely no one, ever.
Final: Mustangs 6 – Lumberjacks 3 | Shots: Lumberjacks 27 – Mustangs 39
Three Stars
- Jody O’Neill – Mustangs
1G, 2A, 1-man chaos engine. Forecheck, backcheck, score-sheet-check. Quietly involved in almost everything good the Mustangs did, including that first goal no one can quite explain. - James Baker – Mustangs
2G, 1A, 3 PIM. Won draws, scored twice, took penalties, and basically lived his best Men’s League power-fantasy. - Colin Farr – Mustangs
24 saves on 27 shots. Turned aside breakaways, scrambles, and at least one personal attack from the crossbar.
Honorable mentions to Chase Engdahl (2 goals and a theft in the neutral zone), Mac “The Legend” Lalor (1G, 1A, elite rental), and Nathan DeLuca (2G and a crossbar that’s still ringing).
