UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Final Score: Mustangs 6, Tuck 2 

For over a decade, Tuck has treated the UVHL the way Thanos treated the Avengers — inevitable and deeply annoying. But on this night? The Mustangs — yes, those Mustangs — strapped on their skates, ate their Wheaties, and delivered a beatdown straight from the Hockey Gods’ group chat.

The Mustangs were missing James “Breadman” Baker, Geoff “The Colonel” Colla, Chris “Smudge” Mudge, and Jamal Sabky… so naturally they played their best game in years. Tuck was missing approximately 47 stars, including Kaleigh “Downtown” Donnelly and Adam “Big Mac” Macsata. And in net? Bill “Lockdown” Lockwood — whose nickname refers to life experience, not hockey performance.

The shot totals tell the whole story: Mustangs 43, Tuck 22. It was like watching a firehose pointed directly at Lockwood for 45 minutes.

1st Period

11:01 – Mustangs 1, Tuck 0
The Mustangs opened the scoring when Will Mudge crashed the net like he was trying to collect rent and buried a Jack Smith rebound.

5:11 – Tuck 1, Mustangs 1
Maclean “Stolen Valor” Lalor stole a puck, stole the spotlight, and almost stole the Mustangs’ dignity as he dangled through the neutral zone and ripped one past Colin “Near &” Farr. Farr reacted to the shot approximately three seconds late.

Lockwood then channeled 1997 Dominic Hasek for a few minutes, robbing Will “The Thrill” Mudge and Trevor White to keep things tied.

2nd Period

A disastrous Tuck line change gave David “The Good” Husband a breakaway, but Jack Smith came flying back like he was possessed by the ghost of Bobby Orr and broke it up. Then immediately got two minutes for “trying too hard.”

5:14 – Mustangs 2, Tuck 1
Ethan Scribner fed Tyler White, who fed Will Mudge on the back door, and boom — Mudge’s second of the night. Great play. Terrible defending. Very Tuck of them.

Lockwood denied Engdahl late in the period, delaying the collapse for another 20 minutes.

3rd Period

14:15 – Tuck 2, Mustangs 2
A Lockwood save kicked off a rush where Husband fed Lalor for a one-timer. Lalor buried it, proving once again that he is Tuck’s entire scoring department.

8:29 – Mustangs 3, Tuck 2
Will Mudge won a draw clean to Jack Smith, who apparently was offended at the lack of pressure and just… walked right in and scored. Tuck defenders watched him like a museum exhibit.

Colin Farr made a huge save moments later on a James Hinsley chance to keep the Mustangs ahead.

Then came the comically bad breakaways:

• Van Bailey walked in alone and missed the net so badly that the puck needed counseling.
• Trevor White got the rebound and… also didn’t score. Yikes.

5:58 – Mustangs 4, Tuck 2
Max “The Scribe” Scribner stole the puck and fed Chase Engdahl, who roofed it and immediately declared he should become a roofer.

2:24 – Mustangs 5, Tuck 2
A point shot from Jody O’Neill was tipped, saved, then slammed home by Michael Cimis, who located the rebound like a truffle pig.

1:34 – Mustangs 6, Tuck 2
Greg “The Deke” Dadekian fired a shot off Jody O’Neill’s cup — making a noise heard across two counties — before O’Neill recovered and scored. Heroism takes many forms.

Final Thoughts

For the first time in ages, Tuck looked mortal. The Mustangs looked like an actual organized hockey team. And the rest of the league? DELIGHTED.

The Tuck Dynasty is over. Long live whoever shows up the most each week.

Three Stars

1. Will “The Trill” Mudge – 2g, 1a, carried the boys
2. Ethan Scribner – 3 assists, elite playmaker energy
3. Maclean Lalor – 2g + didn’t murder anyone