UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Both squads looking for consistency

ODDS:	EVEN
OVER/UNDER:	12

The Whalers are coming off a win last week, a strong showing the week before, and a shootout loss three weeks ago. The Nords have lost two in a row, were man-handled last week, and got a default win three weeks ago - not exactly brilliant hockey. In fact, the Nords haven't won since the last time they faced the Whalers. What should we expect? It will be high scoring; Zaneloni will put one off JT's mask and will hit or stick Park at some point; Gramling will not pass more than twice and will try a cross crease backhander; Drew Crapser will suck wind starting in warm-ups; Park will open his mouth and spew verbal diarrhea all over the ice; and LeLallier will make at least one brilliant glove save, probably on Park. Flip a coin, I don't know which team will show up for either squad.

Whalers ruin Nords shutout bid in third period

It was a 10-on-8 battle, and the Whalers had to corral Tuck's Ryan McGovern to fill in a depleted roster. Where are all the Whalers? Well, I heard at least 3 are injured, and the rest must be at home being total fucking losers missing out on all the fun. Meanwhile, the Nords own Fat Bastard, McBuffalo Wings, McDiesel, Shawn McDermott made his UVHL return after kidney cancer surgery in October. With the addition of McD tonight, and Drew Crapser a mere game ago, the Nords finally had 5 D there for the first time all season, so that meant Kelly Park could show his talents (or lack thereof) up front between Roger Phillips and Poli Nightingale. Jay Zaneloni and Jason Gramling are, and were, a scoring threat every time they are on the ice, but the Whalers need to give them some help. Z's big snap shot puts fear into defenseman who have to get in the way, and he made several great shots on net, over the net, and off the post. Gramling controls the puck and gets in close, and he did the same sort of thing in this game, schooling McD and welcoming him back to the league making him look like a fat pylon on one play. Shots were low in this game, only 29 on Lallier and 21 on Turner.

The 7-8-9 line, a young "Sesame Street" line comprised of Jordan McGee, Pierce Mayhew, and Brian Racicot, carried the Nords in this one. This line shows good chemistry, speed, scoring touch, and is the second best line in the league this season behind the Gamblers MMA line. Thank goodness, because Kelly Park couldn't do shit up front, and Whalers goalie Ken Lallier stopped him on several girl-like shots from the slot. What else do I remember? JT was solid all game. He saw the puck, challenged shooters, recovered well, ans stopped 20 of 21 shots. Only Gary Laperle, last week's Player of the Week, solved Turner at 11:11 of the third from hardworking Zach Aher and Gramling. Nick Hall wired a shot off the crossbar behind JT, but the goalie's best friend deflected it out of play and not into the net. Apparently Zaneloni cheap shotted Racicot after Raci cut in front of Z and got his elbow up as he went by (I did see that part of it) to retrieve the puck on the boards, but I did not see the infraction as I was too busy sucking wind looking down at my skates (yes, I can see over my gut, thank you very much). Referee Jeremy Seidling was lenient and only gave Z a minor penalty, but warned of a much tougher sentence if there is a next time. The Whalers were hurt by a light roster, and the Nords were bolstered with 2 full lines, and that was the difference in this one.

Final Score: Nords 7, Whalers 1

Final Tally: Jordan McGee showed why he is the Nords leading scorer and 3rd overall in the UVHL potting 2G, 3A with what Whalers goaltender Ken Lallier called "some sick moves" post-game over a beer and some fiery Buffalo chicken tenders. 40 year old John Turner is in great shape again, and is playing like a younger version of himself. JT almost had the shutout, but he saved 95% of the shots that came his way and gets a POW nod. Racicot and Crapser each had 3 points for the Nords. McD had 3 dry heaves, 17 coughs, a wet Blue Cheese fart, puked in his mouth just a little bit, and almost left early for some wings in his 2011 debut.

Final Analysis: The Nords needed this one for their dwindling confidence, and the Whalers need some frickin' players to show up! The Whalers are the best post-game team EVER! Win or lose they always have the most players at the bar after the game. The rest of you pussies can learn from their example, because it is half of what the UVHL is all about: good hockey, fun, exercise, and hangin' out with your teammates.

See you on the ice!

McD

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	14:23	Goal	Racicot, Brian(13)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(19)
NDQ	07:41	Goal	McGee, Jordan(17)	Assist(s): Crapser, Drew(1)
NDQ	03:39	Goal	Crapser, Drew(1)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(20)
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	10:05	Goal	Mayhew, Pierce(14)	Assist(s): Racicot, Brian(16)
NDQ	03:08	Goal	McGee, Jordan(18)	Assist(s): Puchalik, Andrew(4)
NDQ	00:56	Goal	Phillips, Roger(11)	Assist(s): Crapser, Drew(2)
3rd PERIOD
WHL	11:11	Goal	Laperle, Gary(3)	Assist(s): Aher, Zach(3) Gramling, Jason(9)
NDQ	04:42	Penalty	Puchalik, Andrew(9)	2 minutes for holding
WHL	03:50	Penalty	Zanleoni, Jay(4)	2 minutes for tripping
NDQ	00:26	Goal	Racicot, Brian(14)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(21) Mayhew, Pierce(17)

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Game Comments:
SK8VT Woodstock, VT Registered: Posts: 45	Pre-Game Predictions Feb 8th, 2011 10:05 AM A few guarenteed things to happen tonight... Gary Lapearle - Probably get hooked hooked atleast 9 times on the way to the net not getting one call and NOT bitching about it Jason - Probably bitch about how he actually got 3 of Jays assits when actually not even on the ice Kenny - Will have Park wondering why he was the failure in the family robbing him of atleast one open net slap shot Kelly - Feeding me for atleast 6 breakaways tonight Me - Missing about 6 breakaways tonight MCD - 3 games / 4.5 hours...2 buckets of chicken wings Marshy - Have atleast 1 illegal drug in his system by gametime Chuck G - make sure to leave 10 min early to pick up a couple pounders for the ride home before the store closes Liam - give atleast 3 of the Nords players heartattacks, maybe even putting JT on suicide watch for the night Pooch - 3 roughing penalties that arent his fault... Racci - Hitting one of his own players with a blistering slap shot 5 ft. from the net Jay - netting a hatty and 6 point night, one coming from a 90mph slap shot from the blue line, or killing JT (one or the other) Tommy - probably the only player on both teams that wont fuck up tonight Nords win 14-13 in a shoutout
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Yah! Feb 8th, 2011 12:47 PM I fucking love it, Jordy! Don't forget the blue cheese and celery, too. Diet coke for sure as well... I'm watching my waistline... grow... McD
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	90 mph slapper Feb 8th, 2011 01:51 PM You know Jordy my slapper usually turns into a good break-out for the opposition .. WIDE RIGHT, WIDE LEFT.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	Brilliant Jordy! Feb 8th, 2011 03:34 PM I have a feeling Jordy will score on at least 2 breakaways. The kid has been snake bitten and tonight feels like the one! I'm taking the OVER on Buckets of wings that McD will eat.
PMayhew woodstock, VT Registered: Posts: 2	Racci Feb 8th, 2011 03:54 PM 2/1 odds Racci hits me with the slapshot from 5ft out
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Uh huh Feb 8th, 2011 04:35 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: kpark I have a feeling Jordy will score on at least 2 breakaways. The kid has been snake bitten and tonight feels like the one! I'm taking the OVER on Buckets of wings that McD will eat. That is a good bet, Parky! McD