UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Tuck by 2 goals
OVER/UNDER:	8 goals

The Tuckies are streaking and look to walk over Dead River and maintain their grasp on second place in the UVHL. Dead River has been a quagmire wrapped inside of a conundrum encapsulated by an enigma. They have been fantastic at times and dreadful at others. One night they can have great goaltending, the next no goaltending. One night their offense is clicking, the next they are dead in the water. Bottom line is that Dead River is a sleeper, and a scary team to faceoff against every week.

Tuck on the other hand has been solid & consistent all season, making even their losses a competitive and fun game to watch. After spanking the lowly Nordiques last week, they look to continue their success built on solid goaltending & defense for their 10th win of the season.

Tuck should walk through Dead River 5-3.

Tuck dominates Dead River: 6-2

Dead River had the honor of playing the Tuckies tonight in the middle timeslot, but even a 7:55pm start wouldn't help a Dead River team that has been plagued by an inconsistent roster. Riding a short bench Dead River asked Whaler's All-Star Jay "The Chin" Zanleoni & the Nordique's Kelly "the Defensive Liability" Park to help warm up their bench in between shifts. Tuck was without starting goaltender Daniel "In your facey" Yacey as Steve "They Killed" Kenning was between the pipes and still nursing an injured wrist. Yacey couldn't make it because he's trying to get a job or something lame like that. Tuck boasts the best 1-2 goaltender punch in the league, or maybe a 1-2 limp-noodle sissy push because of Kenning's wrist. In net for Dead River was their Dead Weight goaltender, Greg "I have no edges on my skates" Hadley who was about as mobile as a Suburban trying to do a 3-point turn in a narrow alley.

It didn't take long for Tuck to jump in front as they were gift wrapped a power play at the expense of Ryan "The Govenator" McGovern's neck. McGovern was railroaded from behind into the boards by Ricky Golden "Showers" at 2:27, resulting in a JameSteve "BayHates" BatesHay. The goal was credited to James Hay, but who really knows who was in that uniform, they're both pretty ugly and could be twins. Regardless, on the Golden power play, "HatesBay" got behind a lackadaisical Kelly "Defensive Liability" Park and popped a loose rebound into the open net as a Hadley slide around like a "Reh-Tahded" Deer on ice. That was Hay's first of the on the night, assisted by Jordan Barnett. Barnett was stellar as he patrolled the Blueline and added a goal later in the period to give Tuck a 2-0 lead.

Joining Barnett back on Defense was McGovern & Ryuji "Cooch" Kikuchi who had his skates sharpened before the game for the first time since early October and was rock-solid in all three zones. The sharpening was well-timed, since last game he spent every shift squirming around on the ice like a bizarre species of Japanese pickerel. The defensive corp of McGovern, Barnett & Kikuchi was outstanding all night, playing aggressive, moving the puck out of the zone with ease and contributing offensively. But what was more impressive was the complete domination by Tuck in the offensive zone, as their centers won 45 out of 46 faceoffs. Dead River didn't even have a chance with those odds.

END OF THE FIRST: Tuck 2, Dead River GOOSE EGG

Dead River put up a good front to start the second period, falling back to protect their own end but a turnover at Tuck's blueline was quickly moved up ice by McGovern to Simon "The Bum-Looker" McKay who in turn dished to Halsey "Turn Your Head &" Coughlin with a full head of steam. Coughlin made a nasty move on both defensemen, causing sheer panic before splitting the "D" and beating Hadley with a wicked snapshot upstairs for the 3-0 lead at 6:54. It could have been worse than closing out the 2nd period down 3-0 as Tuck couldn't convert on few additional scoring opportunities. One of those opportunities came at the hands of "The Bum-looker", who pounded two Steven Seagal Energy Drinks before the game (flavors: Asian Experience and Cherry Charge) and the result was one of the dirtiest goals in the UVie this season. Late in the 2nd, "The Bum-Looker" led a 2-man rush down the right side, looked off both defender and the keeper, before absolutely roofing it from a foot outside the crease. Referee in chief Shawn "McDiscipline" McDermott immediately whistled no-goal due to goaltender interference, although it's hard to believe Bates-or-Hay-or-Hates-or-Bay impacted the play from where he was positioned during the play. It's also hard to believe in dinosaurs or Italians. The liberal media is all dinosaur this and Italian that, but where's the proof, you know what I mean?

END OF THE SECOND: Tuckies 3, Dead River BIG GOOSE EGG

Hays continued to roll in the 3rd period with his 11th goal of the season from Mckay & Coughlin to put Tuck up 4-0 and sit back on cruise control. Dead River continued their misery at the faceoff dots in the 3rd period but managed to break through with 2 goals on Tuckie stud netminder Kenning. The first coming just under 5 minutes into the 3rd period as Jay "Zamboni" Zanleoni snapped a quick shot past Kenning to cut the Tuckie lead to 3 goals. Jimmy Hays capped off the hat trick with 6:25 to play from "The Govenator" to regain the healthy 4 goal lead quickly followed by Tony Cape just 28 seconds later. Dead River's Evan Duggan closed out the scoring with 4:55 to play from Bobby Rosati & Tommy "Guns" Scull.

END OF REGULATION: Tuckies 6, Dead River 2

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
LAB	12:33	Penalty	Golden, Richard(4)	2 minutes for Checking
TCK	11:39	Goal	Hay, James(10)	Assist(s): Barnett, Jordan(2)
TCK	05:19	Goal	Barnett, Jordan(2)	Assist(s): none
2nd PERIOD
TCK	06:54	Goal	Coughlin, Halsey(13)	Assist(s): McKay, Simon(6) McGovern, Ryan(13)
3rd PERIOD
TCK	14:18	Goal	Hay, James(11)	Assist(s): McKay, Simon(7) Coughlin, Halsey(9)
LAB	10:21	Goal	Zanleoni, Jay(9)	Assist(s): Racicot, Brian(4)
TCK	06:25	Goal	Hay, James(12)	Assist(s): McGovern, Ryan(14)
TCK	05:57	Goal	Cape, Tony(4)	Assist(s): none
LAB	04:55	Goal	Duggan, Evan(7)	Assist(s): Rosati, Robert(2) Scull, Tom(5)

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Game Comments:
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	BOOOORING Feb 2nd, 2010 03:18 PM The Tuckies & Dead River Rats are boring. No pre-game banter. You all take yourselves too seriously. BOOOOOOORING!
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	WTF? Feb 2nd, 2010 04:48 PM C'mon, Guys! I anyone paying attention out there? You're about as exciting as the Gamblers post-game at Bentleys... (cricket sounds). McD
stevekenning Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 15	No press Feb 3rd, 2010 07:32 PM McGovern issued a Canucks style team-wide gag order following some heinous reffing in our last two games. No UVHL press access, and especially no comments on UVHL.com. It looks like we've got the league's attention.
rgrunds Stowe, VT Registered: Posts: 376	these are good Feb 5th, 2010 09:04 PM did kelly write them?