UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Mustangs Look to Sweep Season Series vs Mustangs

The Gamblers have owned the Mustangs this season, taking all 3 games to date.   A 9-0 throttling on December 13th was the low point of the season for the Mustangs, but they rebounded with a solid 5-3 loss(including an empty netter) to the Gamblers on January 10th, where they outplayed the Gamblers for long stretches of that game.

The Gamblers have run the board recently and are on an 8 game win streak, which included a 5-2 win over Tuck 2 weeks ago.  Led defensively by Zach "Tindy" Aher(1g, 7a) who brings class and kindness to the rink every week.  Aher's defensive prowess is nothing like his Tinder Profile, which is aggressive and crude.  Aher skates like deer on ice and pivots like the Titanic.  His real strength is in the locker room where he regales his team with stories of online dating.

Offensively, defensively & Goaltendingly...this game belongs to the Gamblers who have scored almost twice as many goals as the Mustangs and let up fewer than half as many as well.  Despite those stats, the Stangs have been playing exceptional hockey as of late.  Twice they took down powerhouse Tuck this year...the only team to do that.  Now that the Gamblers are are #1...maybe they can continue that streak.

Let's see what happens, but Vegas thinks that this is a 5-2 win for the Gamblers.

Gamblers Throttle Mustangs 7-2

On this lonely Valentine’s Day, we had one fan in the stands all night: Monsieur LaCroix, obviously here to watch his sons Goose and Topo on the Gamblers prioritizing hockey tonight as all hockey players and fans should!

In the 1st, the first SOG was by the Mustangs at 14:17 getting started off quickly. Topo LaCroix got low to block Kevin Clarkson’s shot at the blue line with his L glove for a breakaway at about 12:50 making a nice move that was saved by Colin Farr in the ‘Stangs net. At 10:19 it was a nice passing play from West to East on the Gamblers’ first goal by Ryan “Goose” LaCroix from Max “Tiger” Woods. Goose struck again at 7:54 from brother Topo and the score was 2-0 G’s. Soon after it was the Mustangs’ Chris Mudge heading to the box for a trip at 7:20 on Topo as he was entering the Mustangs’ zone. Chris Warrington and Matti “Local Legend” Hartmann made a nice connection for a Warrington SH chance, then Jamal Sabky played some nice D on Luke Deary to keep him wide and clear the puck all the way down into the Gamblers’ end. The G-spots generated just 1 SOG on the PP.  St. Germain had Hartmann free in the slot but held onto the puck too long and was stripped of possession. Goose made good on a breakaway at 2:16 to complete the first period Natural Hat Trick for Dad in the stands fed by linemate Woods! Hartmann had a good stick in the neutral zone stopping passes and negating advances by the G-men. With just 1 second left in the period the G’s went up 4-0 with captain Will Meyer found the back of the net assisted by linemate Spencer “Kings Hawaiian” Zaha. Shots were 16-6 Gamblers at period’s end.

In the 2nd, St. Germain continued his selfish ways at 13:04 doing too much on his own yet again and not trusting his teammates with a pass. He was stripped of the puck at the blueline and the Gamblers went in on a breakaway for Woods’ first of the game to go up 5-0 on an unassisted effort at 12:58. Hartmann trusted her teammate and made a great pass to “Selfish” Germain, and Hartmann almost scored off the rebound on her linemate’s shot but chipped it right over the net. St. Germain was taken down on a break by Luke Webster and Webster went to the box at 10:49 for slashing. The Mustangs made good on the PP at 10:07 off a nice passing play by Hartmann down low to Warrington at the point who fed Matt “I’m Not a Douche” Derouchie in front for the goal. The Mustangs were catching up on shots by mid-period and were down just 20-16 at the 6:58 mark. Hartman was playing well as usual anticipating plays, getting possession, and beating 1 or 2 Gamblers with the puck. Warrington was also skating well and caught up to Deary who took too long to make a pass. Gamblers’ D Zach Aher stopped “Selfish” Germain on a 1-on-1. Sabky continued to skate well making a good pass to Warrington who found Hartmann for the goal at 0:32. Shots ended 24-21 G’s.

In the 3rd, Hartmann had a nice shot and scoring chance early on fed in the slot by a nice quick pass. Ray “Hockey Whore” Nolan got sent to the box at 14:32 for a hook and the ‘Stangs went back on the PP. The Mustangs made some manpower errors on the PP as Derouchie made a baaaad pass too far ahead of Will Mudge exiting the Mustangs zone handing the puck and valuable possession right to the Gamblers. The G-spots were killing the penalty off well icing it several times. The Mustangs didn’t get set up in the offensive zone until there was 16 seconds left on the PP generating one pathetic flukey SOG on a flip shot towards the net by Warrington that only counted on a technicality. Honestly, if you’re trying to win the game why not put your best five on the ice? C’mon guys… that PP was completely impotent. If I may… Warrington, Hartmann, Sabky, St. Germain and Will Mudge should have been the five players on the ice of the eight players that were in attendance for that entire power play. There is no way that anyone other than Warrington should be taking that puck out of the zone to advance up the ice on the PP to feed any of Hartmann, Sabky or St. Germain on a scoring play and Mudge staying back to cover on D as Warrington heads up ice. That’s like me being on the PP instead of Kelly Park back in the day on the Nordiques. Goose capped an impressive 4-goal game for his Dad in the stands at 10:42 from Woods with his 5th point of the night.  Will Meyer fed Luke Deary in front at 9:27 after Meyer beat 3 Mustangs on his way into the zone and Deary totally missed the net wide to the L side. One job… Kevin Clarkson made a nice block on Deary’s attempt in the slot. Warrington made a gentle and friendly rub out of Like Webster on the boards and smiles and a chest tap for Warrington were exchanged. There was good sportsmanship as I heard “nice save!” come from the Gamblers’ bench as Farr turned one away in the Mustangs net. The scoring finished at 2:23 on Topo LaCroix’s goal from Webster. I didn’t see it clearly, but I think the puck was batted right out of the air into the net. Hartmann made two sweet moves with about 25 seconds left to beat a few Gamblers for a good shot on net saved by Cline. Shots ended a close 36-32 for the Gamblers and the final score 7-2. The good sportsmanship continued with the traditional and classy handshake line at the end of the game.

MVP:  With 4 goals including a Natural Hat Trick in the 1st period that immediately put the game out of reach we have Daddy’s special boy Ryan “Goose” LaCroix. Linemate Max “Tiger” Woods had 2G, 3A and a very strong game himself.

LVP?:  Yes, there is one tonight. The Mustangs’ 3rd period Power Play. It STUNK. There wasn’t even a remote chance that this abortion of a PP provided a sniff of a comeback for the Mustangs. This PP was so ugly you wouldn’t even want to fuck it as you were browning out after pounding 6 shooters after chugging 3 beers. Unfuckable… like a dude in raggedy clothes riding a bicycle. Nothing says DUI like a dude riding a bicycle… I think I just made a new term. Is your power play fuckable? If not, refer to the Mustangs 3rd period PP on Valetine’s Day 2024.

POST-GAME:
Nothing to report. Everyone went home on Valentine’s Day after this game… after the post-game locker room libations, of course… and there’s nothing wrong with that… only cuz it was Valentine’s Day, fuckers! Hall passes granted.

Respectfully submitted,

McDefense, aka HKYDOC