UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Brew Crew by 3 goals
OVER/UNDER:	8.5 goals

I'm calling it right now, Brewers 6, Bruins 3. I think the Brewers are on a roll, playing very good hockey, despite a 3-2 shootout loss to the Nordiques last week. The Brew Crew seems to have ironed out some kinks, patched some friendships and cleaned up their game a bit. If they can stay at even strength, they are one of the most dangerous teams I've seen in the UVHL. Powered by a top line of Nick "The Prick" Bayley, Christian "The Dick" Isaac & Al "The Stick" Sorrentino. Paired with a superb checking line, the captaining of Mike "The Goon" Hickey, and a defensive corp made up of perennial all-stars, the Brewers have got GAME. Oh, I need to mention Sean "Please give me some Ink" McCabe. McCabe is a ruthless puck rusher with the innate ability to turn guys inside out in his end to end rushes......only to start convulsing with fear when he enters the opponents zone and generally......very quickly, turning the puck over.

The Bruins have been somewhat of a mystery this year. They are on their 3rd netminder of the season behind BJ "Two Pad Stack" Premore, released their first goaltender over contract negotiations, let 3 players go before week 5 and are run by a totally incompetent loser, Greg "You better Pay Me" Hadley. A high note is that the Bruins have found another natural goal scorer to accompany superstar Matty "The Hands" Marrazzo, in Jordan "Local Legend" McGee. McGee has definitely been a great addition to the Bruins, but it may not be enough. They will need to focus on shutting down the top line of the Brewers if they are to be successful, and that's just a start. They will need to pepper the Brewers netminder, Petey "The Big Virgin" Bartline and crash for rebounds. If there is one negative thing I could pick out about the Bruins game, it would be their lack backchecking. They are always on the offensive and tend to leave their defenseman hanging and combating odd man rushes.

The Brewers will need production from two of their very talented players that just haven't been able to produce this season, Garren "Stick Man" Poirier & Chris "Wheels" Adams. They have received a nice boost from the addition of David "Mulligan" Mullins and the re-addition of Joe "Lickity Splits" Lyle to their roster.

My prediction, Brew Crew 6 Bruins 3

Bartline's 25 save shutout sparks Brewers win.

In a highly anticipated #4 vs. #5 seeding, the Brewers hosted the Bruins in a showdown of the middle men. Both teams have been very inconsistent all season, showing flashes of brilliance as well as completely under achieving at times. And it was just that, one team under-achieving and another shining as brightly as a super nova.

This evening's super nova was the Hank "The Tank" Bouchard led Brewers as they dominated in their 9-0 dismantling of the Bruins. Bouchard led the way with a 4 goal night, while Petey "The Giant Nerd" Bartline re-routed 25 of 25 shots in his best game of the season. Other notables on the night were Nick "Dr. McSelfish" Bayley who netted 3 and somehow got an assist, probably a mistake by the ref or scorekeeper, but maybe Bayley actually passed the puck.......hmmmm, nope, I doubt it. We'll just chalk it up to a reporting error by the referees and keep it in the books for the Freshman ladies who check out the UVHL.com site on an hourly basis hoping for the exclusive nude photos of Bayley to be posted. Playing some excellent defense were "The CEO" Brian Walsh(2 assists) & Dave "Mulligan" Mullins(3 assists). Sean "Pretty Boy" McCabe just did some circles out there all night without falling down, Chris "Turtle" Johnson skated fast, Danny "Chunk-a-lunk" Charrette ate a gallon of ice cream on the bench.

Some of the performances that guys would like to be forgotten; Greg "Infection" Hadley was minus 10 on the evening, Robbie "Ship Wreck" Pelletier looked like he was skating with a giant crap in his pants, BJ Premore had more holes than fishing net and Matty "The Milk Man" Marrazzo looked like a lost puppy out on the ice.

Hank "The Tank" Bouchard started the scoring just over 2 minutes into the game when he banged home a nice pass through the crease from Chris "The Widget" Adams. Adam's made a dandy move flying down the far boards, made an inside outside move at the hash marks on Mikey "The Truck" Harrington and dished a perfect pass through the crease to an awaiting "Tank".

We had over 8 straight minutes consumed with some spectacular saves from both goaltenders and a Mike "The Trike" Hickey wind mill with 7:31 to go in the first as he wound up from the far boards, missed both the puck and the ice by a good 5 inches spinning up and around before coming to rest upside down on his back. Probably one of the funniest things I've seen in years, and Hickey didn't even have the heart to look in my direction as he skated back to the bench, head down, in shame.

Nick "The Prick" Bayley put the Brew Crew up by 2 after tipping a Davey "Mulligan" Mullins blast from the point. Mullins was at the near point and let a perfect shot fly along the ice as Bayley walked into the slot, tipping it up off the far post and in over Premore who was butterflying for the low shot. Marty Brodeur couldn't have stopped that one, as the Brewers took a demanding 2-0 lead with 4:16 to play in the first.

Premore was continuously called upon to make at least 6 or 7 GINORMOUS saves in the first period; toe save off of a Bayley wrister labeled for the near corner, Joe "Lickity Splitz" Lyle breakaway with just over a minute to go and a 3 on 1 two pad stack just to name a few.

END OF THE FIRST: Brewers 2, Bruins 0
SAVES: Bartline(Brewers) 8, Premore(Bruins) 6

Hank the Tank got his 2nd of the night on a horrible Bruins turnover in front of their own net. I didn't see the play, but my instincts tell me it was either Hadley or Pelletier. Hank the Tank got his hat trick just 19 seconds later off of a sweet pass from Brian "The Beer Wench" Walsh to put his team up a clean 4-0 with 13:13 to go in the 2nd.

with 10:44 to go, I noticed that Pelletier looked like a Mack Truck with 18 of his wheels blown out.

Petey Bartline ROBBED Jordan McGee with 9:24 to go in the 2nd after McGee turned Kevin Calder inside out on a one-on-one.

Bayley roofed one over Premore with 8:29 to go after taking a defenseman wide and firing a quick snapper up over the shoulder to give the Brew Crew a healthy 5-0 lead. The Brewers were dominating puck control, but couldn't manage to generate many shots over the next couple of minute before Premore made another 2 spectacular saves.

The Brewers had another stint of at least 3 minutes of pure puck control in the Bruins end before Bayley, who was showing his versatility at the point, faked a shot from dead center and threw a perfect pass to Isaac waiting on far side of the net. Isaac fired a quick one-timer along the ice past a diving Premore at 2:55.

Garren "The Choir Boy" Poirier made it 7-0 just over a minute later with a laser, high glove side off of a Dan "The Man" Charette pass.

END OF THE SECOND: Brewers 7, Bruins 0
SAVES: Bartline(Brewers) 19, Premore(Bruins) 15

The third period saw little action for almost 8 minutes until the Bruins Jordan McGee & Brewers Davey Mullins traded roughing calls for some hanky panky in the corner. The Brewers tacked on an additional 2 goals, Bayley's 3rd and "The Tank's" 4th before closing out the night.

END OF REGULATION: Brewers 9, Bruins 0
SAVES: Bartline(Brewers) 25, Premore(Bruins) 24

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
BRE	12:58	Goal	Bouchard, Henry(2)	Assist(s): Adams, Chris(2)
BRE	12:41	Penalty	McCabe, Sean(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
BRE	04:16	Goal	Bayley, Nick(11)	Assist(s): Mullins, David(10)
BRE	03:36	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(4)	2 minutes for Holding
2nd PERIOD
BRE	13:32	Goal	Bouchard, Henry(3)	Assist(s): none
BRE	13:13	Goal	Bouchard, Henry(4)	Assist(s): Walsh, Brian(4)
BRE	08:29	Goal	Bayley, Nick(12)	Assist(s): McCabe, Sean(3) Mullins, David(11)
BRE	02:55	Goal	Isaac, Christian(7)	Assist(s): Bayley, Nick(7) Sorrentino, Alfonse(3)
BRE	01:52	Goal	Poirier, Garren(4)	Assist(s): Charette, Dan(3)
BRE	00:53	Penalty	Lyle, Joe(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
3rd PERIOD
BRE	07:08	Penalty	Mullins, David(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
GMB	07:08	Penalty	McGee, Jordan(4)	2 minutes for Roughing
BRE	04:03	Goal	Bayley, Nick(13)	Assist(s): Isaac, Christian(7) Sorrentino, Alfonse(4)
BRE	00:22	Goal	Bouchard, Henry(5)	Assist(s): Walsh, Brian(5)

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Game Comments:
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	HA HA HA HA! Feb 27th, 2008 12:29 AM The Prick, The Dick and the Stick line? I fucking love it, Park! HILARIOUS!!!!!
mhickey Rutland, AL Registered: Oct 2006 Posts: 13	What Game where you watching!!!! Feb 29th, 2008 01:48 PM I love Henry he's a staple on the Brewers, but I am pretty sure he only had an apple with no goals and Chris Adams had the four goals. Adams had an amazing game and was probably flying so fast you just couldn't keep up with him, on the ice or not your just slow!!! You must shower in the dark if you think my missed shot was the funniest thing you've seen in five years.