Second Place Brewers Face Last Place Dead River
The Brewers have an impressive 7-3-1 record to start the season. More impressive is that they were a team in disarray when the season started and it looked as if the franchise might fold. They have clearly figured it out and minus a pair of blowout losses to the powerhouse Gamblers, a setback loss to the Whalers and a shootout loss to the Nordiques they have been steady.
They come into tonights game with a pair of 4-1 wins over their opponent Dead River. The Brewers have also picked up some young blood in Timmy "Boomtown" Barrett and Chris "The Lorax" Louras.
Dead River is a mess, and their season is floating away just like their parent company's propane tanks floated down the Ottaquechee River after hurricane Irene! DAMN THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A FUCKING ANALOGY!
Dead River has one win on the season and has scored a league low 27 goals in 11 games. Their goaltending has been suspect, but not nearly as deplorable as their team defense.
If Dead River wants to compete, they need to get serious about protecting their end of the ice and their goaltender Greg "Bin" Feiden.
This should be an easy win for the Brew Crew...6-2.
Brewers Beat Dead River Behind Four Goal Third: 5-4
The hot-handed Brewers came into tonight's action with the second best record in the league(7-3-1) against the bottom-feeding Dead River squad(1-10-0). Dead River put up a solid fight, jumping out to an early leading and pushing the Brewers to the brink of devastation before collapsing in the third period and succumbing by a final score of 5-4.
The Brew Crew had another solid night from Aaron "Dr. Death" Mancuso. His two goals and assist led his team offensively and his large rotund body made everyone fearful, including his own team.
Mancuso opened the scoring halfway through the first period with a goal from his best buddy in the whole wide world, Dr. Billy Fletcher. Fletcher's pass was spot on just like his gynecological exams.
Dead River tied the game with 28 seconds to go in the first period when Mark "Wiggity Wiggity" Weglarz fed Jason "Loopy" Loomis for his eighth goal of the season.
The second period was BOOOOORING, as the two teams seamed as though they were more interested in some ice dancing than actually playing hockey. "Not much happened over the past 15 minutes, I wish I had used that time doing something else...like napping, or picking my teeth, I heard there was some paint here at the rink that needed to be watched as it dried." Said one spectator who had a glassy look in his eyes.
Dead River finally did something interesting with 74 seconds left to play in the second period when "Big" Bruce Kordecki put his team up 2-1 on a pass from Jay "The Pest" Zanleoni.
END OF THE SECOND PERIOD: Dead River 2, Brewers 1
Weglarz made it 3-1 Dead River just 17 seconds into the second period from Jason "GRRRRRRAMMMMMBO" Grambling. Grambo and Zanleoni were both alternates from the Whalers helping to round out Dead River's roster. Also filling in were the Nordique's Ian "Toothless" Coates and Nick "The Legend" O'Brien.
Things were looking good for Dead River. They weren't being dominated by the Brewers and were sitting on a two-goal lead in the third period. But you know what they say about a two-goal lead...right?
Anyways, that feeling was short lived for Dead River as the Brewers stormed back on goals from Garren "teed Penalty" Poirier, "Tiny" Timmy Barrett and MANCUSO!
Dead River's Greg "Bin Feiden" Bin Feiden had a solid night despite allowing five goals on 45 shots. The Brewer's Matty "Batty" Albertazzi had a little bit of an easier night but made 30 saves en route to the win.
Dead River tied the game with 1:41 to play on Bruce "Klutch" Kordecki's second of the night. This game looked as though it was going to go to a shootout and Dead River wouldn't rack up yet another regulation loss, but Dead River does what they do so well and fucked everything up, giving up a goal with 41 second left to Chris "Turtle" Johnson of all people.
BREWERS SQUEEK OUT A 5-4 WIN!
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